Redneck Autobody Shop

The civilian contractors have two vehicles to get around the FOB and transport things like their laundry with. One is a little white Nissan pickup with red flames painted on the side, and the other is 2005 black Suburban. There are many of these types of vehicles with exactly the same paint scheme. All of these vehicles are less than four years old and are trashed. There is very little pride in ownership most likely due to their being no ownership. None have ever been washed, and KBR probably thinks it’s cheaper to buy new cars than bring out another civilian to change the oil.

The Suburban that the contractors have is in notably bad shape: the passenger side back window and cargo area window are both broken out. Today when Chief and I showed up at the shop, two of the contractors had a large piece of plexi-glass that they were cutting to replace the broken windows since rainy season is getting closer. They had finished putting on the cargo area piece of plexi-glass with self-tapping screws and were caulking it silicon. It was an improvement only because it was so bad before.

Chief, who used to be a Navy hull tech (person who makes things out of sheet metal and plexi-glass, among other jobs) and who is a bit on the obsessive-compulsive side about things looking nice, took over the job because the contractors had not made very good cuts and the plexiglass looked jagged and unprofessional. In Navy plexi-glass school they teach the score-and-break method for shaping plexi-glass which is fine for straight lines but is not good for making replacement windows for Suburbans. I am quite proud of myself for coming up with an idea that the professional doers (as an officer I’m a professional supervisor unlike the chiefs and contractors) of using the Dremel Tool. I even cut the window much to all of the chiefs’ chagrin and did quite a nice job even though I was an officer using a tool.

The window that I replaced looks better than the back window that the contractors replaced. Even Tank, a contractor whose parent’s naming ability fits their son’s size and mentality, said I did “good.” I think that is just evidence that he’s been in Iraq long enough to have low standards for the word “good.” Honey, when I get home we’re going to get a car to put on blocks in the front yard so I can fix it up with plexi-glass and self-tapping screws. It will look “good.”