Oh Holey Underwear

Note the “E” in Holey.

I really love the laundry guys here. They are mostly cheerful even though they have a hot, fly-infested office. Most of them are from Macedonia and one is from Palau, I think. One reason they are cheerful is that for them, being here having a good job is a real blessing they do not have at home. Like all of the KBR employees, they are under appreciated.

One note, not even a complaint, is that I think they use old food processors as washing machines. While my utilities are holding up pretty well, my t-shirts and socks look like they’ve been laundered in a warzone. One other note: they probably don’t use Tide because they don’t get whites white. One soldier commented that Crayola was going to come out with a color called “KBR Gray” because laundry comes back a tan-gray color that isn’t even in the box of 96 crayons. I blame the Iraqi water. That’s probably what eats holes in my unmentionables, too.

Under the “Oddly Enough” heading you can file this tidbit: the PX here does not sell men’s underwear. They do sell some frilly women’s stuff which makes me wonder, but no men’s underwear. The reason for this (for lack of men’s, not presence of women’s frillies which I won’t comment on) is that the Army has a uniform replacement program. Every month they pass around a list of uniform parts and you can order up to $50 dollars worth. Underwear is on the list, but that has not helped my situation. When I first got here, the list came around and I signed up for some stuff, and they didn’t turn the list in. The next month, the Battalion cancelled the uniform replacement order because they decided to save everyone’s money and give every soldier four new sets of uniforms with the replacement money before the soldiers went home. This decision was made before the Battalion got extended, so there were only two months left and underwear and t-shirs were not a concern. Then they got extended and restarted the replacement program and passed the order list around… while I was on leave.

Honestly, I don’t need anything new, but being able to order stuff and get a package delivered with all sorts of unnecessary stuff is a bit like Christmas. You can order the cool sweat wicking t-shirts that melt in bomb blasts, extra infra-red American flags or cold weather stuff to help you get through the Baghdad summer. I’ve been promised to be allowed to participate this month, but I’ll believe that checks in the mail when the postman delivers. I just hope they don’t give me four more pairs of Army uniforms when I leave.