Advice to Graffiti-ists

Bathroom stall graffiti, or “Latrine Art” as they would call in on National Public Radio, has varying character in different military locations. At Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard, the public stalls were alive (oh, yuck) with debate on the differing strengths of Native Hawaiians and Howlies, with neither making a strong showing. The transient latrines in Kuwait made a clear distinction between arriving soldiers (“3RD Infantry Division will kill’em all,” type sentiments), departing soldiers (“Thank goodness I’m going home” or “Write your senator to stop the war,” were two main themes. The second often spawned lively debate in the thinking room.) and Marines (not quoted due to the family friendly nature of this blog, but always pro-USMC.) Port-a-johns usually just have “Shout-outs” from different area codes marked with a city name (“760! O-town, baby!”) or some tasteless art made iteratively less tasteful. I believe the lack of air conditioning stifles whatever intelligence desire there may have been to debate. Except on the subject of religion: many a port-a-johns on the other side of the FOB has the message of an ardent evangelist whose preaching has merit but whose presentation style is not mine personally; his calls to repentance are denounced vigorously by non-believers even in the heat and stink of the port-a-john. In latrines frequented by the infantry, public service warnings are issued to all who may sit and read to avoid whoever the perceived least manly member of the unit may be.
Whatever your graffiti style may be in your home latrine – be it scholarly debate, denouncing a person or group based on perceived shortcomings, or a humorous Leno-like top ten list – you will not be as successful impressing your intended audience if you do not give adequate attention to spelling and grammar, being especially cautious of using words with homophones. When you say that another person “prolly” has done such or such an act, the focus will no longer be on the debauchery of the individual. Based on experience, it will turn to the intelligence of the author. When you misspell your request that people of another race stop causing whatever problem for which they are responsible, you will “prolly” be denounced as an ignorant member of a different race or socio-economic class. The convert rate tends to be lower when the syntax of the promise of divine protection in war is incorrect.
Take care! It is the little details your readership will notice. You may have the best case against the war in the world, but write “affect” when you meant “effect” and “prolly” no one will ever write their senator.